Showing posts with label talking horse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label talking horse. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

WIS #2: The Return of the Greedy Knight's Ghost

Hello, all! I'M SO SORRY FOR BEING AWOL...again! I was in Houston for the International Space Settlement Design Competition, and my school WON!!! YAYYYYYYYY! AND I GOT MY BRACES OFF! PLUS IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! So, in honor of my birthday, I bring to you my next WIS! Consider this a gift from me to you on my birthday--wait, something's not right here. I thought it was supposed to be the other way around...*scratches head*
Anyway, for those of you who do not know, a WIS is a Weekly Illustrated Story. Today's story is a continuation of the last WIS. Scott's ghost has returned!
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It was an ordinary day in Science Nerdess's cave. Science Nerdess, Feathers, Amarantha, and Zella were enjoying themselves. "I love days like this," sighed Zella. "Days when we can just kick back, relax, and do absolutely nothing."
"Isn't it just great?" grinned Feathers.
"Ahhhhh," said Science Nerdess.
"Um, you guys, I have a really bad feeling..." warned Amarantha.
"About what?" asked Science Nerdess.
"I dunno," said Amarantha. "But something bad's going to happen. I can feel it."
"Oh, Amar, you're just being paranoid!" laughed Feathers. "What could go wrong?" Whoosh! All of a sudden, the four felt a draft. "I shouldn't have said that, right?" asked Feathers.
"I believe so," agreed Science Nerdess.
"Oh dear," said Feathers.
"AUUUUUGGGGHHH OMIGOD IT'S A GHOST!!!" Zella shrieked. Everyone else stared at what Zella was pointing to. It was indeed a ghost, a ghost of --
"Scott? B-b-but...you're supposed to be dead!" gasped Amarantha.
(He's not supposed to have legs. I know.)

"Well, I am here...to seek my revenge!" yelled the ghost of Scott, the coffin maker. "AND I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!" The foursome gasped in unison as Scott whipped out his blade, and Scott proceeded to try and stab Science Nerdess. He drove the sword into her heart and then...
Nothing.
Science Nerdess was still alive. Not a drop of blood leaked out. "Uhhh, can someone explain what just happened?" asked Feathers.
"Of course!" exclaimed Science Nerdess. "He's using a ghost sword, so it, like other ghostly objects and, well, ghosts in general, passed right through me because it's not solid!"
"FINE THEN!" yelled Scott, exasperated. "I'll use a real sword!" But there wasn't a real sword around. "Well," sputtered Scott,"I'll just...annoy you?"
So, in that short while, Scott was upgraded on the foursome's Mental Threat List from "Eliminated" to "Major Threat" and then downgraded to "Minor Threat/Annoyance."  But being annoyed is never fun, so Science Nerdess asked Zella, "Do you know how to get rid of ghosts?"
Zella checked her spell book. "Oh, there's a spell for that! But it's got weird ingredients that I don't have!"
"Oh no!" sighed Feathers.
"Let's hear them," said Amarantha.
Zella read the ingredients:
"Oh, why do spell books have to be so...so equivocal about their ingredients?!" said Science Nerdess.
"I guess we'd better get a move on if we're going to get rid of Scott..." noted Amarantha.
"YOU'LL NEVER GET RID OF ME!!! NEV--" Scott was then encased in a glass cylinder that he couldn't seem to get out of. "It's a Temporary Ghost-Holding Container," explained Zella. "It won't work after 24 hours, though. And now, we'll all need disguises!"
"I can disguise as a bird," said Feathers.
"I can be a lizard," said Science Nerdess.
"I can disguise as a normal, non-magic bearing 20-year-old," said Zella.
"And I...will be a non-talking horse!" said Amarantha.
"Okay, we're set. Let's go!" said Zella.
Meanwhile, at Av Ruj High, Priya walked over to the cafeteria. But she stopped and looked around worriedly. All clear. She continued to advance toward the eating hall. 
"Hey, look! Here comes the shorty!" sneered Gary the bully. His posse laughed as Gary singlehandedly pinned Priya against the wall. "Let me go! Leave me alone!" But Priya knew her cries were in vain. It was at times like this when Priya wondered where the H E double hockey sticks the teachers were when stuff like this happened. "I think that money is a little heavy for you, shrimp," remarked Gary, fishing Priya's lunch money out of her pocket. How childish. You'd think they'd have advanced from stealing lunch money after graduating from elementary school, but NOOOO. Still, Priya was glad that Gary stole her lunch money as opposed to stealing her hat. Her hat was very important to her.
Gary dropped Priya with a thud. "Time to find other shrimps to fry," smirked Gary, and he and his posse went away. Priya sighed and slunk off to the cafeteria where she saw her friend Maddie waiting for her. "Hi Priya!" said Maddie, cheerfully.
"Hey."
"Did Gary and his gang get to your lunch money again?"
"Yup."
"Here, I bought an extra lunch for you!" Maddie gestured at the lunch. Priya grinned. Maddie was so thoughtful. "I'm glad I didn't run into those guys today. Yesterday was a nightmare," remarked Maddie. Maddie had been locked into her locker for an hour before the janitor got her out. Priya wished she could have been at school to help Maddie, but she had been sick. 
Finally half-an-hour passed, and lunch ended. Priya and Maddie walked back to school.
...
Maddie and Priya were walking home three hours later. "I hope we get home before--" Priya was interrupted by Gary the bully. "Do you shrimps need me to help you carry some of your stuff?" He pointed at Maddie's hat. "How about that hat?" He reached for it, and Maddie held her hat down with her hands. Priya then kicked Gary in his, uh...groin. "YOU LITTLE...OOOH,YOU'RE GONNA GET IT!," yelled a reddened Gary. 
"Hey, pick on someone your own size, you bully!" Gary, Priya, and Maddie  turned towards the voice and saw that it came from a female human on a horse with a purple lizard and a red sparrow and a peculiar container. "Oh, yeah? What are ya gonna do if I don't, huh?" said Gary. All of a sudden, the sparrow turned into a phoenix and the lizard turned into a dragon, and the lady turned into a witch. Gary gasped. "OH MY...IT'S A DRAGON AND A PHOENIX AND A WITCH!!! MOMMYYYY!" He ran all the way home.
"Thank you! That hat is very important to me," said Maddie, after everyone introduced themselves.
"But what's so important about a hat?" asked Amarantha.
"Well, it..." Priya lowered her voice. "It disguises us. Makes us look human, albeit short humans."
"So...what are you really?" asked Zella, whispering as well.
"We're elves, from Renadiyet--Elflandia in English."
"But, doesn't Renadiyet have schools of its own?" asked Feathers.
"Well, yes, but the school districts have a paucity of money," said Maddie.
"Eh?" asked Amarantha.
"You know...budget cuts! So only Elfish and Magics can be taught there. So all the elf students go to human schools. One to three elfs go to each human school that's nearby so that we're not conspicuous." Maddie sighed. "I miss having school in Renadiyet. The humans are so mean."
"Well, humans can be mean," admitted Science Nerdess.
"Hey! I'd like to think that I'm not mean," objected Zella.
"But, uh, you don't count," stammered Maddie.
"I'm still human..."
"But don't humans treat you like you're different, even though you're human?"
"Humans who don't have magical abilities, yes."
"Yeah. So I meant humans without magical abilities. Yeah, um, exactly. SOOO...why are you guys here? Dragons, witches, phoenixes and talking horses aren't all that common in this part of the human land."
"We have to collect items for a spell to get rid of that ghost." Feathers pointed to the jar with Scott in it. "And we need 'a flower as light as the lightest day.'"
"How about the Olyreatixsoliz? It's Elfish for 'light flower.' Not only is it light in color, but it also glows in the dark! You can use it as a flashlight," suggested Priya. "We can take you there!"
"That would be wonderful!" said Zella. "Would you?"
"Of course!" grinned Priya, and the now sextet ventured off to Renadiyet.
...
"HALT!" The sextet were stopped by muscular guardselves. "Non-elves may not enter! Send the non-elves to the place of the Beast!"
Zella gasped. "Not the Beast!"
"What's the Beast?" asked Feathers and Science Nerdess at the same time.
"It's a terrifying creature that eats everything in its path!" Feathers and Science Nerdess gulped. 
"No! They're with us!" Priya stepped in from of Feathers, Science Nerdess, Zella, and Amarantha. The guardself sighed. "Drat, I wanted to feed someone to the beast. Maybe some other day..." The guards grumbled and walked away. 
"Phew, that was close! I thought we were goners!" breathed Science Nerdess.
"Well, you're safe now," grinned Priya. 
"Thank you!" said a grateful Feathers.
"D'aw, it was the least we could do. Now let's go!" Maddie ran, and the rest of the sextet followed. Maddie stopped at a meadow full of yellow and white flowers. "How many do you need?" asked Maddie. There was no answer. Everyone was too busy gawking at the beautiful flowers.

(Okay, they don't look fantastic...but just use your imagination, okay? Okay. Moving on...)
"We need just one," said Zella, breaking the silence. "Would there happen to be a feather as dark as the darkest night?"
"I just remembered something!" grinned Feathers. "If you shine one of those...O-lee-ree-a-thingies on a phoenix's feather, it turns completely black!" She plucked out a feather and squeezed the Olyreatixsoliz, which then glowed with a bright white light. The feather darkened. "Our second ingredient," Feathers declared.
"Well, that was convenient," remarked Zella, slipping the feather and the flower into her pocket.
"Unfortunately, the next ingredient isn't going to be so easy to come across," remarked Science Nerdess, worriedly clutching a map. "We're going to be confronted by a troll, who guards the volcano full of lava, the hot liquid we seek!"
"Since we don't have anything to do, can we come with you?" asked Priya. "Pleeeeease?"
Science Nerdess, Amarantha, Feathers, and Zella looked at each other and shrugged. "Sure," said Feathers. "We'd love to have you!"
And so the sextet ventured off to the troll's volcano. And when they got there, the troll jumped right up and said, "You can't cross this bridge across the volcano or get the lava...unless you answer a riddle!"
"Awww, do we have to?" asked Amarantha, before anyone could shush her.
"Ya know what? I don't really feel like asking a riddle today. You can grab as much lava as you like!" 
"Wow! That's...great, and awful generous of you, Mr. Troll," remarked Amarantha. But suddenly, the troll pushed her in! "OOPS. Heh heh," snickered the troll as he walked away.
Zella pinned the troll down as Priya and Maddie punched him and Feathers swooped down to catch her. The volcano then started to rumble. "Oh gosh, where's Feathers?!!" exclaimed somebody.
"SHE'S IN THE VOLCANO!!!"
"Save yourselves!" yelled Feathers. "Save yourselves!" And the volcano exploded and sent everyone running/flying.


(Not drawn to scale)
The volcano finally settled and Science Nerdess collected some of the lava. "Oh, I feel so horrible!" sighed Amarantha. "Had I not complained about the troll's challenge, Feathers wouldn't have had to sacrifice her life for mine! OH, I'M SO SELFISH!!!" And she sobbed. Everyone else mourned the loss of Feathers and comforted Amarantha. "It wasn't your fault," said Science Nerdess. "It's because of troll. How do such evil monsters exist?!" She sighed. "Feathers was a great creature."
"Alas, yes," agreed Zella. "She was very noble and brave." Even Priya and Maddie, who barely knew Feathers, shed some tears. "She was so kind!" exclaimed Priya.
"Huh. This isn't quite watching my own funeral, but it's pretty close. It's nice to know that I have friends who care."
"FEATHERS???" Everyone turned around to see Feathers, looking like herself except, well, younger. "Yup, it's me," she grinned. "That volcano explosion takes care of my spontaneous combustion problem for another 1000 years." Amarantha jumped onto Feathers and everyone else followed suit, hugging and laughing and crying, all at once.
"Okay, guys, it's time to get the final ingredient," said Feathers. "What was it, again?"
"'A powerful specter to mix them all together' apparently," said Zella. "But what powerful specter would help us kill a fellow ghost?!"
"Well, ghosts are already dead...so we wouldn't be killing him, really..." volunteered Amarantha. 
"AHAHAHAHAHA! It's not going to be so easy eliminating me, is it now?" jeered Scott.
"Shaddup, Scott," said Feathers. "But let's go to the graveyard. Maybe if we beg enough..." And the sextet went off to the local graveyard. "It's creepy here," shuddered Priya.
"Well, it's a graveyard. I'd be worried if it wasn't creepy," remarked Zella. "Anyway, let's find us a powerful ghost."
(She's bored, not angry.)
Everyone turned to face the ghost. "Well, um..." stammered Science Nerdess.
"What makes you think we want the services of the ghost? Maybe we just want to...talk to her?" said Zella, somewhat defiantly.
"Yeah, what she said," agreed Feathers.
"Hah! As if any of you would care to talk to a ghost!" scoffed the ghost. "All you care about is yourselves! Particularly you, a pitiful human!" She pointed at Zella.
"Well, there have been a lot of anti-human-species-ism around here, and I have to say, we're not all like that!" yelled Zella.
"Uh, guys..." started Amarantha.
"So, if that's the case, what would you want to talk to a powerful ghost about?" asked the ghost.
"Okay, fine, yeah, we wanted something," admitted Zella.
"My point exactly!" exclaimed the ghost.
"Guys?" asked Amarantha.
"So, uh...would you know a powerful ghost?" asked Priya hopefully.
"Yes, but why should I tell you? You all are just selfish, selfish mortals!" exclaimed the ghost.
"I think you're being a hypocrite," said Feathers, quietly. "You were a mortal once, you know. And you should know that not all mortals are bad."
"True," said the ghost. "But most are bad." Feathers saw that there was no point in arguing with the ghost, so she instead asked, "What's your name?"
"None of your beeswax," said the ghost. Science Nerdess looked at the tombstone the ghost was sitting on, and said, "Is your name Emily?"
"Yeah. Quite a boring name, if I do say so myself..." remarked the ghost.
"Emily...that sounds familiar..." remarked Amarantha.
"Emily?!" gasped Scott from the container. Emily looked confused for a moment. "DAD?!" she asked.
"Crud," cursed Zella, reflecting the thoughts of the rest of the sextet.
"I knew it!" exclaimed Amarantha.
"Who killed him?" asked Emily. No one dared answer. "WHO?"
"Um...technically, I did, because I created a bomb and disguised it as gold to...kill him..." said Science Nerdess.
"But we all helped!" yelled Feathers. "I helped heal Science Nerdess..."
"And I tried to cast spells to eliminate him..." continued Zella.
"And I ditched Scott and informed everybody!" said Amarantha. "And I bit his hand!"
"And I...uh, didn't do anything. I didn't know them then," said Priya.
"Me, neither," said Maddie.
"So, what you're saying is...you killed my dad?" asked Emily, testily.
"MWAHAHAHA, I KNEW I'D BE AVENGED! YOU'LL ALL BE SORRY!" yelled Scott, as he attempted to do a victory dance.
"How can I thank you???" grinned Emily. "No, I'm serious," she added, when everyone looked confused. "Oh, right. MOOOOOOM!" Another ghost came in with a toddler clinging on to her hand. "Look, Mom, there's Dad's ghost in that container, and these guys killed him!" exclaimed Emily.
"Ellie?" asked Scott.
"Hello, Scott," said the ghost. "Yes, it is me, your wife, who you ruthlessly killed." 
"Whoa, this is getting interesting..." remarked Feathers.
"Oh yeah, Scott did kill Ellie! I didn't see it because I was at the stables, being tended to by the stable boy," remarked Amarantha.


"Yes, he killed me, while I was pregnant with Hannah!" Ellie gestured at the toddler ghost who was holding her hand.
"Hi! I'm Hannah, and I'm thwee yeaws old!" said the little ghost, smiling.
"Waiiiit...how could you give birth to a three-year-old?" asked Science Nerdess. "I thought ghosts didn't age...?"
"Well, ghosts over the age of 13 can choose whether to age or not. But ghosts under the age of 13 at the time of their death have to age, and they stop at age 13," explained Ellie.
"Yeah. Just like how I'm not going to grow anymore now that I'm 13," added Emily.
"Anyway, going on with the story," continued Ellie. "I never wanted to marry Scott, but my parents were suffering financially, so they asked me to marry Scott because his business was lucrative. I despised coffin makers--and still do--but I agreed. I married Scott, even though I knew of his greed. But I never realized the extent of his greed until it was too late...
"It was three years ago. I was, as I mentioned, pregnant, and Emily was sick and missed school."
"I wish I had gone, even though I was sick," interrupted Emily. "Sorry for interrupting, Mom," she added, quickly.
"That's all right, dear," smiled Ellie. "Scott wasn't earning as much because not so many people died. We still had plenty of money, though, for the whole family and even for the incoming member." She smiled at Hannah. "Well, it wasn't enough for Scott, though, apparently. So, while I was sitting on the sofa, reading a book--and it was a good book, too--Scott...Scott killed me. He stabbed me on the back of the neck! Later he killed Emily. I'm not sure how. Emily, would you mind explaining...?"
"Sure. I mean no. I mean...I'll explain," said Emily. "Well, I was sick that day. So I was in bed. My dad came up to my room to bring me soup. I drank it, gratefully. But it was poisoned."
Everyone gasped. "That's terrible! How could Scott sink so low?" asked Science Nerdess. "I mean, I knew he was bad, but that...that's unthinkable! Unspeakable!"
"Well, that's what he did," said Ellie. "And he made my parents pay for the coffins and burial service. That's when they realized how terrible Scott was. But by then it was too late, too late." She sobbed. Hannah bawled upon seeing her mom's sadness. Emily shed a tear. Priya sniffled and Maddie cried. Feathers cried and collected her tears in a bottle for future use. Zella looked forlorn, and Science Nerdess blew her nose. Amarantha borrowed the handkerchief from Science Nerdess and wiped her tears.
"I'm eternally grateful to all of you," said Ellie. "However can I thank you?"
"Well...we do need a powerful specter to help us with this spell to eliminate Scott's ghost..." said Science Nerdess.
"I'm a powerful ghost, thanks to the great goddess Scadoosh," said Ellie. "Upon hearing of my tragic death, she granted me powers. I'll help you. Besides, I'd love to exact revenge on Scott!"
"NO, ELLIE, YOU WOULDN'T!" cried Scott.
"Yes, Scott, I would, and I will," answered Ellie. So everyone went back to Science Nerdess's cave, and Zella put all the ingredients in her cauldron. Ellie used her powers to zap the ingredients into a mixture, and Zella recited the incantation, "Hum, drum, frogs and toads. I do desire to eliminate this ghost!" She pointed at Scott. Suddenly, the potion hit Scott's container and broke the glass into a million pieces.
And Scott was gone. Cheers broke out. 
Suddenly, an intense light shone in the cave. The light was emanating from a woman in robes.
 
"IT'S THE GREAT GODDESS SCADOOSH!" exclaimed Feathers, and everybody bowed.
"Oh, no, that's not necessary," chuckled Scadoosh, as she gestured for everyone to rise. "I just want to thank everyone who helped Ellie and her children with their plea. So, I give Science Nerdess the power of an icedrake as well as a firedrake's. [Fire drakes blow fire; ice drakes have water powers and can blow ice.] Feathers shall be rid of her spontaneous combustion problem and both she and Science Nerdess have more forms of disguise. Science Nerdess can disguise as any reptile, and Feathers can disguise as any bird." And a light fell upon Science Nerdess and Feathers and enveloped them. When they emerged, Science Nerdess had blue and red patches. Feathers looked the same.
Scadoosh continued. "Zella, you shall get more spells and you aren't limited to potion spells anymore. And I grant you a better wand. Ah, and I grant immortality to all of you. As for Priya and Maddie, your magic will be enhanced and you can disguise as taller humans to avoid being picked on. And Amarantha, you shall become a unicorn as opposed to just a talking horse." A light enveloped the sextet and then disappeared. "Thank you," breathed Priya and Feathers, at the same time.
"No, thank you," said Scadoosh, and she disappeared.
"Well, I guess it's time to go," said Ellie. "It's been nice knowing you all."
"Awww, do we have to go? The gwaveyawd is cweepy!" said Hannah, sadly.
"You can stay with us!" grinned Feathers.
"Of course," said Amarantha, Science Nerdess, and Zella.
"Oh, you guys are too nice!" said Emily. "I'm sorry about all the mean things I said about mortals before. You guys are great!"
"We all have our own prejudices," said Science Nerdess. "It's okay."
"It's time for us to go back," remarked Priya, "before our parents get worried." So everyone headed out to Renadiyet, but they saw UFOs!

"We are going to take over this planet!" exclaimed an alien. "And no one can stop us!"
"You can't do that!" exclaimed Priya. "We can rule ourselves!"
"Yeah!" agreed Science Nerdess. "Go away, unless you come in peace!"
"Wait, what? That isn't what I heard..." said the alien.
"Yeah, we thought you wanted us to take over the planet!" said another alien. "That's what every other planet we conquered wanted us to do, anyway..." No one could detect sarcasm in their voices, but no one wanted to take chances. "Yeah, right," scoffed Emily. "Next, you'll be saying that you didn't want to take over the planets in the first place!"
"That is true," said another alien, apparently unable to detect the sarcasm in Emily's voice. "We never wanted to take them over, but, alas! we were forced to!"
"Are you guys being sarcastic?" asked Amarantha.

"If we were, we'd be raising our sarcasm hands," shrugged the second alien. "Come on, Obb, let's go. We're not needed here." And the aliens contacted the other UFOs. "Call off the operation! We're leaving!" They hopped into their UFOs and left.
"That was weird," said Feathers. And everyone continued going to Renadiyet.
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A big thank you goes out to Feathers, Scott, Zella, Amarantha, Priya, Maddie, Ellie, Hannah, Emily and Bruce for being in my WIS! 
So, what do you guys think? And what suggestions do you have for my next WIS? Do you have any presents for my birthday? *looks hopefully* 

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Weekly Illustrated Story #1: The Intelligent Dragon and the Greedy Knight

Every fairy tale involving knights, dragons, and princesses depicts knights as chivalrous and noble and dragons as mindless man-eating machines, and it always ends with the knight slaying the dragon and rescuing the princess. But that wasn't always the case. Sometimes, the noble knights didn't win. But, more importantly, not all dragons were evil, and not all knights were good. Sometimes, a knight was just in the business for the fame and glory, and they confronted dragons who were only being nice to everyone around them. Those greedy knights did win sometimes, unfortunately, but other times, the dragon won. These instances either were forgotten or, if the knight won, were twisted to praise the knight and vilify the dragon. Here is one of those tales that was simply forgotten with time:
Once upon a time, there was a very kind dragon named Scintelinineyinoruwa Newoaldroskadni the Third, called Science Nerdess for short, because she was outstanding at science. That nickname wasn't short enough for some people (read: dragons, phoenixes, elves and other mythological beings), so she was sometimes called "Science", "Nerdess", "Science Nerd" and, by mean dragons (or phoenixes, or elves...), "The Nerd", with a sneer and followed by a snicker. These mean people were very few, though.
Science Nerdess helped everyone, including humans. She would play with the nearby town's children (she loved kids), helped the sick and the elderly, and used her science skills to serve as the local doctor. And all this was for free! She got her own food, which consisted of chicken, fish, and rarely sheep, if they were given to her as a gift. She never ate humans. When she was trying to stop a thief, she had accidentally bitten him. He tasted DISGUSTING. She'd heard that humans in general tasted really bad. She wondered where humans got the idea that dragons craved human meat. Perhaps they just wished they tasted that good.
She woke up one day to the cries of "HELP! SOMEBODY, PLEASE HELP!!!" Science Nerdess flew outside her cave and saw a bird stuck in a tree. The bird saw her, too, and panicked.
(Yes, I know I suck at drawing dragons. The wing looks funny.)
Science Nerdess then saved the bird and said, "You're free now. You can go!" The bird sighed and looked at Science Nerdess, lachrymosely (SAT word! KA-BAM!). "I have no family. And I don't have a home."
"You can live with me!" exclaimed Science Nerdess. "My cave isn't great, but it protects me from the elements."
"THANK YOU SO MUCH!" exclaimed the bird, as she darted into the cave. "Oh, where are my manners?! I didn't even introduce myself. I'm Feathers. What's your name?"
"I'm Science Nerdess."
"That's an...interesting name..."
"Oh, it's just my nickname! My real name is super long."
"That's the case with my name, too!"
Suddenly, Science Nerdess noticed a problem. "When I'm sleeping, I may squish you..."
"Oh, right! I think I ought to reveal my true form." Feathers then disappeared behind smoke and reappeared as a phoenix!
"Whoa..." exclaimed Science Nerdess. "That was so cool! Now I won't squish you in my sleep!"
"Hooray!" yelled Feathers. "I feel so powerless as a tiny bird. In this form, I wouldn't get stuck in any tree!"
"You'd probably crush it, instead!" giggled Science Nerdess.
"Hey! You would, too!" complained Feathers.
"We're the Tree Crushers!"
"It's not good to crush trees, though."
"That's true. So for the sake of all trees, let's not sit on them!"
"YAY FOR TREES!"
"TREES ARE EPICALLY AWESOME!"
"...How."
"THEY JUST ARE."
"OKAY."
"I don't like it when people cut them down, though."
"Me, neither."
"CHOCOLATE!"
"WHERE?!"
Meanwhile, far away from the cave but in the same town, there lived a coffin maker (see what I did there???) named Scott. No one liked Scott very much. Coffin makers are to be avoided, after all, since they deal with dead people. What a horrid job for anyone to choose to do! Scott's business was lucrative, though, because people in this kingdom lived like medieval people, so they were unhygienic. But this time of prosperity for Scott was soon to end. 
That night, just as Science Nerdess was going to sleep in her cave, she heard a scuffling of feet. Feathers whispered, "Is someone in here?" 
"I don't know...but I heard scuffling of feet!" whispered Science Nerdess. Suddenly, she heard someone exclaim, "Witch hunts? PUH-LEASE. Those  are so 1693!"
Science Nerdess lit a torch to see. And she saw...
A witch! The witch said, surprised, "Oh! I didn't realize there were residents in this cave. I just really need to hide from stupid townsfolk who think all witches are bad. I'm not bad! I could never hurt anyone!"
"That's great!" exclaimed Science Nerdess. "I'm Science Nerdess. And I am okay with you living here, as long as it's okay with Feathers."
"I'm perfectly fine with that!" said Feathers. "This cave is big enough to house 100 people!"
"Thank you!" exclaimed the witch. "My name is Zella."
And now, thanks to the addition of Feathers and Zella, the nearby town prospered. Feathers healed people's wounds, and Zella cast a spell that eradicated death due to disease or old age from the whole town, and all were happy.
Except for Scott.
Thanks to Zella's spell and Science Nerdess's and Feather's medical clinic, there were no more dead people. No more dead people meant no more coffins were needed, and because no more coffins were needed, Scott the coffin maker lost business. He was sad. But more importantly, he was enraged. He wanted money. So he called the most boring servant of his over.


(By the way, that thing on Scott's shirt under "I love" [yes, that red thing is a heart] is a coffin.)
Now, Norm's family would have to pay for his coffin, and because Scott was the only coffin maker in town, they would have to buy from him. He claimed that Norm died by falling off a cliff, and he charged the family a lot, and included a "convenience fee" of $100. This money satisfied him for a while. But later, he wanted more money, so he killed off all his servants and gave false excuses for their deaths. 
But after that, no more people died. And he had no servants, anymore! So he went to City Hall and asked the mayor what was going on. The mayor said, "The dragon Science Nerdess and the phoenix Feathers have helped our townspeople by healing their wounds and running a health clinic, and the wonderful witch Zella put a spell on us that eliminates death by disease or old age!"
Scott was even angrier. How dare they rob him of his business! He then decided to see the king, but it was a long way away from his house, so he rode his talking horse named Amarantha. When he reached the king's castle, he lied to the king, "There are an evil dragon, phoenix, and witch who are threatening the townsfolk of Towncity!"
The king was shocked. "Oh no! Could you slay the dragon, capture the phoenix to be sold to a zoo, and imprison the witch? I will knight you, and you will get rewards!"
Scott grinned. Everything was working according to his plan. "Of course, your majesty!"
"I hereby dub you Sir Scott," declared the king. And Scott was off on his talking horse named Amarantha.
Amarantha had heard everything that Scott said to the king and knew they were dirty lies. "Master Scott, why did you lie to the king? The dragon, the phoenix, and the witch did nothing but good for the town!"
"They didn't do good for everyone, though. They made my lose money!" exclaimed Scott.
"You are so selfish! I am ashamed that you are my master!" Then Amarantha threw Scott off and galloped toward Science Nerdess's cave.
When she arrived at the cave, Science Nerdess and Feathers were playing tic-tac-toe, and Zella was looking over her book of spells. Amarantha said, "Hey, guys! I have to warn you of something important! Something bad!"
This caught everyone's attention. "What's the matter?" asked Science Nerdess.
"What happened?" asked Feathers.
"My master, Scott, does not like how you've eliminated death from disease or old age because it's causing him to lose business! He is a coffin maker, after all. So he's gotten permission from the king--by lying to him, of course--to kill you"--Amarantha pointed at Science Nerdess--"to imprison you"--she pointed at Zella--"and capture you"--she pointed at Feathers--"to be sold to a zoo!"
"That's terrible!" exclaimed Science Nerdess.
"I agree!" said Feathers. "Why can't he just get another job?"
"I don't know," said Amarantha.
"Darn witch-hunts," muttered Zella.
"You guys have to do something!" exclaimed Amarantha. Science Nerdess thought about the situation. What could she do? There was a knight crazed with greed after her...how could she win? She had to protect her friends and herself! Plus the knight would bring death back to the town, and she couldn't have that! She'd have to fight. She hated that, but it was the only way.
Scott arrived, out of breath. And then, the fight began.
 
(Okay I don't really know what Feathers is doing in the first picture. Striking an epic pose? Perhaps. And the background is gray because they're in a CAVE!)



(That grayish thing under Science Nerdess's tail is Scott. And Feathers has a bottle of Phoenix Tears.)
The battle remained a draw, and Science Nerdess was unsure of what to do. Zella tried casting spells, but Scott yanked her wand out of her hands. Plus, Scott's shield deflected dragon fire. Feathers spontaneously combusted, like how phoenixes do. That fire burned Scott's arm armor...and his arm. It also burned a little bit of his hat, which upset him greatly. Amarantha bit Scott's arm. Suddenly, Science Nerdess had an idea. She scrambled into her science lab and experimented with chemicals. She then came out with a bag of gold.
"Aha! I knew you were hiding gold somewhere!" exclaimed Scott. "But I still have yet to slay you!" He grabbed the gold.
"Science, where did you get the gold from? And why did you get it?" asked Feathers. "This will arouse more suspicion--" She was cut off by the sound of an explosion. Pieces of Scott flew everywhere. "That 'gold bag' was a bomb," explained Science Nerdess.
"Looks like he won't have a decent burial," said Zella. Amarantha sighed. "Are you sad that he won't get a decent burial?" asked Zella.
"No, no, I couldn't care less about that," said Amarantha. "I just...don't have a home anymore."
"You can live with us!" said Science Nerdess. "If that's okay with Zella and Feathers." Zella and Feathers gave their consent, and they all lived happily ever after.
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Thank you, Feathers, Zella, Amarantha, and Scott for being in my story!
So, what did you guys think? I know Scott is a bit one-dimensional, but that's how many fairy tales treat their villains anyway, I think...
Any ideas for my next WIS? I really don't have any ideas for it right now!