Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Secret Sin

Well, I'm back from my hiatus! It's been a nerve-wracking few months, but it's over now! Now, all there is to do is wait.
It's a new year again, and I'll be making some resolutions of my own this year, as I'm sure you all will be doing. Or you might not be bothering with that. I don't think I ever wrote a list of resolutions and seriously committed to them, so I'm going to change that this year. I hope. (And yes, updating this blog at least once per month is on my list!)
There's one item on that forming list that I'm going to take the most seriously, and it has to do with my secret sin.
We've all got a secret sin. Some people's secret sins are worse than others, and other people's secret sins aren't all that secret. Secret sins don't have to be secret, after all.

In any case, my secret sin is lying. Lying is a bad secret sin to have since it is THE gateway drug to other sins, and I've noticed that my lying problem has gotten much worse. It's gotten so bad that I find myself lying for no reason at all!

This is scary! So I resolve to never tell a lie again, even if I feel like I need to. Somehow, I will prevail!
When did this habit of lying start anyway? I've read that you start lying when you're a baby, but I can't remember that far back, so I can't write about that! The first lie I remember telling was in second grade...
*flashback mode*
I sat in my seat and shuffled uncomfortably. I stared at the worksheet on my desk. Suddenly, I had the distinct urge to pee.
What were we supposed to do again? I hadn't been paying attention to Mr. Norman when he told us the instructions. It wasn't my fault! Okay, maybe it was...I had been daydreaming again of turning into a hummingbird after sliding down a slide and watching all of my friends turn into animals, too. But what could I do now? I glanced nervously at Paul's desk, which was to my right. He was doing all the problems on the worksheet. I followed suit, and did a few problems. But I soon turned my gaze toward the ceiling and lost myself in the wonders of my imagination.
[The fantasy sequence is drawn in a crude(r) way (than usual) because it is supposed to represent my second grade imagination through second-grade level drawing.]
I was soon startled out of my reverie when Mr. Norman said, "Time to turn in your worksheets!" He went around to collect it. Noticing that my worksheet was unfinished, he said gruffly, "Put that in your 'Overdues' folder. Looks like you have another overdue assignment to complete during lunch." I sighed and put my paper into my folder in my desk. I was careful not to mess up my desk this time, since I knew Mr. Norman would dump out all of its contents onto the ground and instruct me to clean up the mess and reorganize the mess if the desk was messy. I learned this the hard way.
(No, my second grade teacher did not look like a bearded Teddy Roosevelt. I have no idea why I drew him like that. Eh.)
The urge to pee was stronger when Mr. Norman dismissed us. I walked to the front of the school onto the sidewalk and waited next to the crosswalk, legs crossed to stop my bladder from exploding. I waited for the crossing guard who was also my second grade teacher to reach the sidewalk I was standing on. Just five minutes and I'll be home, I thought. My house was, after all, on the same street,  just on the other side and to the right of my school. I just had to walk along that sidewalk on the other side of the street to get to my house, rolling backpack dragging behind me, like I always did.
Mr. Norman finally reached the sidewalk. He then held up his STOP sign and walked onto the crosswalk, signalling for us to walk across. I walked across when I suddenly felt a wetness between my legs and a release of pressure in my bladder.
I had just peed in my pants.
I pretended nothing was wrong and continued walking home, contemplating what to do about the situation I now found myself in. My mother would kill me! I was too old to pee in my pants!
Suddenly, I had a brilliant idea. I would just cover up the pee stain, and maybe my mom wouldn't notice.
I rang the doorbell, pretending nothing was wrong. My mother answered it and let me in. Turning my back to my mother, I climbed the stairs to my bedroom. Then, suddenly, my mother asked, "Why are your pants wet?"
I wasn't a very good liar at the time (I hadn't had practice), but somehow, my mother believed me. "Oh, no, that's awful! When did this happen?"
"Um, at...lunch," I stammered, not expecting her to ask for so much detail.
"How could the teachers let that happen?" asked my mom, mostly to herself. I continued going upstairs, thinking that the whole situation with the wet pants was over.
It wasn't.
The next day, my mom called Childhood Friend's (also known as Otherclassmate) mother, telling her about the situation with the wet pants. CF's mother was angered by this apparent lack of supervision by the teachers. She called Mrs. A, my former first grade teacher who now taught sixth grade, who told her that it couldn't have been a sixth grader who sprayed me with the hose since sixth graders (and all the other upper graders) got out for recess after our recess was over. She supposed it must have been a third grader. My mom told me about this, and I agreed with Mrs. A, hoping that would be the last I heard of the matter. I didn't get my wish.
CF's mom and my mom contacted the third grade teachers, telling them about this horrifying incident with the hose and asking them to do something about this. The teachers asked their students to identify the culprit. No one came clean, obviously, which flustered my mom and CF's mom even more. I was flustered, too, but for different reasons.
Later that week, the teachers hosted an assembly on bullying, and one of the examples they gave was my "incident" with the hose. They left out all names, of course, but I knew they were talking about me, and that made me nervous. What if a mean third grader found out I was the one who tattled about something that didn't even happen?

Nothing of that nature happened (I know, anti-climactic, isn't it?), and soon, everyone forgot about it. Everyone except me and my family. In fifth grade, I had an essay about bullying, and my mom suggested the hose incident that "happened" back in second grade as an example that I could use. I almost told her the truth, but then decided against it.
I'm pretty sure she's forgotten it now, but if the topic arises, I'll tell the truth. After all, honesty is (usually) the best policy.

Monday, September 12, 2011

WIS #3.3: An Evil Goddess, a Formerly Evil Ghost, and a Cursed One

Hooray, the WISes are back! For all you new people who don't know what a WIS is, it is a Weekly Illustrated Story (well, it's certainly not so weekly anymore, but I DON'T WANT TO CHANGE THE NAME OKAY), in other words, short stories accompanied by illustrations drawn by yours truly on Paint. The WISes were originally intended to be separate, unconnected stories, but WIS#1 inspired a sequel to be made out of WIS#2, and WIS #2 inspired a sequel out of WIS#3. I'm probably not going to make WIS#4 a sequel to this WIS, but we'll see. Maybe I will and maybe I won't. I most likely won't, though, since I have a good idea for a WIS that I want to write soon!
To catch up on the previous WISes, click the links to the right under "Weekly Illustrated Stories." They look like this:

Priya and Maddie dashed off to catch up with the others, who were headed to the boat at Datwun Lake. "OHCRAPOHCRAPOHCRAP," yelped Maddie. "I hope we don't end up being to late--" They reached Anita's boat before Maddie could finish her sentence.
"Hey, um, Science, Feathers, Zella, Amarantha. Can we talk?" asked Priya.
"In private?" added Maddie.
"Why am I not invited?" asked Scott, not sounding threatening but rather just confused.
"Um..." stammered Maddie.
"...Well, don't worry! We're not trying to keep it private from you, if that's what you're wondering. We're trying to keep this private from someone else, but we don't want that person to suspect anything, so we need you and Ellie and Hannah to stay on this boat. We'll tell you everything later!" said Priya.
"Yeah, what she said!" said Maddie.
"Oh. Okay," said Scott, "As long as you're not lying..."
"D-don't be ridiculous!" said Priya.
The original six went some ways away from the river before beginning their private conversation.
"This place seems secluded enough. So, what is this really important thing you needed to tell us about?" asked Science Nerdess.
"Yeah, what is it?" asked Feathers, worried. "Is it bad? It sure seemed like it was something bad, since you guys looked really concerned."
"I-it's pretty bad," said Priya, sadly.
"Well, spill already! It's best we know now, rather than later," said Amarantha, nodding sagely.
"It's about Annie and Anita...we can't trust them," said Maddie.
"What did they do?" gasped Feathers.
"Do? Well, they didn't do anything..." said Maddie. The phoenix's look of shock turned into one of confusion. "Well, if they didn't do anything, then how do you know we can't trust them?" asked Feathers.
Priya pulled out the book of names and flipped to the page that said "Annie" (as well as a whole lot of other names). "See? It's the Chosen Mortal Name of Anilokalmosia!" she said.
"...So?" asked Amarantha.
"'So?' What do you mean, 'So?' That's bad, that's very bad! It means the girl named Annie can--no, will become evil, and then there's no changing her back to good!" said Priya. "She'll be a seductress, just like the evil goddess, and with not an ounce of good in her soul!"
"But...there's still a chance that she is still good now," mused Zella. "I mean, she's but a child. And what little I know about Theology [Author's note: There is only one religion in this land, and it's called Theology. I'm not sure whether the land is on Earth or not.] dictates that, in order for a person Cursed with the CMN (or a derivative) of an evil goddess to become evil, something has to happen to him or her to motivate him or her to turn to the dark side. Children as young as our Annie can't have experienced something so traumatic."
"But we can't take a chance!" said Priya.
"But we also can't be mean to a poor young girl whose only crime was to be born an 'Annie!'" said Zella.
"Her parents must have done something terrible, though, to have a child named Annie! Maybe they're Anilokalmosia's slaves! Maybe this Annie is already corrupted by her evil parents and is only seeking to take advantage of our generosity! Maybe--"
Science Nerdess interrupted Priya. "Yes, yes, okay. But enough about your speculations on Annie. What about Anita? I'm sorry, I'm not very educated when it comes to religion. Dragons don't have time for that stuff. The gods just leave us to our own devices, so we don't have to know too much about religious rituals and names, since they don't name us, anyhow. As long as we're good, the gods don't intervene. And they (usually) make sure the evil ones among us are punished."
"It's the same for us phoenixes, too," said Feathers.
"Scott never taught Theology to his children around me," said Amarantha. "That is, if he taught it at all."
"Okay, then. The name 'Anita' is a derivative of the CMN--that's 'Chosen Mortal Name'--of the goddess Annie. Her parents must not have done something as bad as our Annie's parents must have, but it still must have been pretty bad. Anitas are more easily lead into the wrong path, but they can stop being evil if they have enough willpower," said Priya.
"But are they able to relapse into evil just as easily as they went into it?" asked Science Nerdess.
"No, they resist evil as well as any other person," said Priya.
"Oh. So there's still a chance that she could be good, then," said Feathers.
"Yeah, but--we shouldn't chance it. Please, guys," said Priya.
"I don't see any other way to get to Annie's lair," said Feathers. "Besides, we shouldn't just not trust Anita because of her name! Geez, you're being really paranoid! And that coming from me, probably the most paranoid person ever, really says something."
Priya sighed. "I...guess you have a point," she said. "About the getting to Annie's lair part, I mean."
"So, let's go then!" said Amarantha.
"But wait!" said Zella. "I think we should get Annie off the boat. There's a big chance that she could already be evil, and we don't exactly need her on the boat or anything. She might sabotage our mission!"
"I guess," said Feathers. "And Anita knows about the mission and she sounded very sincere when she said that she wanted to help. I suppose she could be trying to sabotage our mission, too, but we won't get anywhere without a few risks and a boat that she has!"
"Right. So first, we get rid of Annie. And next, we go to Anilokalmosia's lair! Done and done!" said Zella. "Let's go."
The group walked off, relieved that their quandary was solved. But little did they know that someone else had been listening in on their little private conversation.
Scott and Ellie were later told what was discussed, and then Science Nerdess told Annie, "I'm sorry, Annie, but we don't know how many people this boat can hold, so we'll row across and everyone will get off, and then I'll row back to get you, okay?"
Annie looked up with watery eyes. "You mean...you're gonna leave me all alone here? I thought...I thought I could go back to my mommy..." Large tears fell down her cheeks. Science couldn't bear to look, but at the same time, she couldn't look away. Annie's eyes were almost hypnotic. "W-well...um..." Science was at a loss for words.
"Oh...um...well, I guess we could take you..." sighed Feathers. Everyone agreed, much to Priya's alarm. "But guys!" she whispered. "We can't..." Then she looked at Annie's sobbing face and relented. "Fine. We can take her," she said.
They all rowed across the river. No one said anything, and everyone was anxious to get to the lair. Suddenly, Annie said, softly, "You wanted me to not come because you were afraid, right?" 
Everyone was silent, not wanting to answer that question (and Anita and Hannah didn't really know what was going on). "You think I'm bad, right? Because my name is Annie?" Silence. "Because all Annies are bad?" 
"N-no, it's nothing like that..." said Feathers.
Annie shook her head. "No, you all think that. But you all are...absolutely right." And she gave a demonic grin. Suddenly, dark storm clouds emerged in the sky and surrounded Annie, as she floated higher and higher. And then, she turned into none other than...ANILOKALMOSIA! "Oh...I kind of forgot about the fact that if someone named Annie is a little girl with glasses and some musical instrument, then it is very likely that she is Anilokalmosia, since that's her favorite mortal-looking form..." muttered Priya.
"Ya THINK?" said Scott.
"I know what you are trying to do," boomed the goddess Annie, "BUT YOU WILL NEVER BE SUCCESSFUL!"
(So, I finally got around to using the picture from the preview of WIS #3. YAY!)
Annie stirred up a bigger storm, and lightning struck at the ocean. "YOU'LL NEVER GET OUT OF THIS ALIVE! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!" Then she made a flute appear and played a note on it. The shores of the lake suddenly filled with people who were in zombie-like stances. "SLAVES!" boomed Annie. "YOU MUSTN'T LET THESE FOOLS REACH LAND!" Then she disappeared, leaving our heroes stranded in the middle of Datwun Lake, with a storm raging over their heads.
"Holy...holy crap..." gasped Feathers. "Oh, Priya, I'm so sorry for calling you paranoid!"
"Oh no! We can't have this at all! Annie knows everything!" sobbed Ellie.
"Well, now we know that we can't risk anything," said Priya. She looked at Anita, and Anita twitched uncomfortably. "Which means, we can't trust her, either!" she said.
"But...but...why would I break your trust?!" exclaimed Anita. "I already told you, I'd have to be an idiot to mess with you guys! Sure, I'm Cursed, but--"
"Yeah, we can't," said Science Nerdess, ignoring Anita. "So, here's what we'll do: Priya and Maddie can ride either me, Amarantha, or Feathers, and we'll all fly to the island--the storm seems to have subsided now--and Scott will stay here with Anita. Wow, that was a fast storm." The clouds had cleared up, and it was sunny again.
"What? Are you saying that you still don't trust me?!" asked Scott.
"No, but we need someone on the boat to watch this...this criminal-to-be (if she isn't a criminal already)," said Feathers. "Let's go, guys." And they flew off.
"So, uh...anything ya wanna talk about...?" asked Scott.
"This crap always happens," grumbled Anita.
"Huh?" asked Scott.
"You know, the whole deal with my name and all. Just because of some shit my parents did. Why the hell do I have to be Cursed? They're the ones who made the fucking [and now this post is officially rated PG-13!] mistake...why should I be punished?" Anita sighed. "No one trusts me. I've always been a good-for-nothing...and I always will be, in everyone's eyes."
"Seriously! I know good from bad, and even before I became evil, I--"
"Wait...you're saying that you actually are evil?" gasped Scott. "Geez, did you fail Villain 101 or something? You had a great sympathy act going for you there, but then you blew it and said you were actually evil! Take it from me, a retired bad guy--"
"No, no, no! I'm not evil anymore! I just gave up and succumbed to my 'destiny' when I was 13...my best friend had already turned evil, everyone was treating me like a criminal, and I was getting visions of the goddess Annie persuading me to turn to the dark side..."
"Yeesh, that's a lot of pressure!"
"Yeah, the friggin' Cursed punishment system just makes more people bad! The gods, though, don't realize it." Anita sighed. "It's just frustrating. At least I'm not evil anymore, and I don't have to worry about my cruddy 'destiny'...but I do have to worry about other judgemental people." She paused. "Wait, what did you mean by saying that you were a 'retired bad guy'?"
Now it was Scott's turn to sigh. "I was greedy. Really, really greedy. I killed off people when my coffin-making business slowed, and tried to stop Science Nerdess and Feathers and Zella from curing people with their little clinic. I got knighted by the king so that I could slay Science."
"But they trust you. Why?"
"Oh, believe me, they didn't at first. In fact, I came back to exact revenge, and they tried to get rid of me by making my own wife get rid of me...it's a long story."
Anita shrugged. "We've got all day. I mean, I'm not going anywhere." She laughed bitterly.
Scott explained everything that happened in the previous WISes, and you all know what happened then, so we'll just skip that part.
Meanwhile, Science Nerdess, Feathers, Amarantha, Priya, Maddie, Ellie, and Hannah had landed on the island. The slaves had dispersed, seeing that they couldn't block people who were already on the island from going onto the island, and the group walked through a peaceful neighborhood. "Where would a key be?" asked Ellie.
"Undew the sofa?" suggested Hannah.
"No, no, sweetheart, not our keys...the key to Scadoosh's cage," said Ellie.
"Oh," said Hannah.
"Where does Annie live?" asked Science.
"At that creepy looking house-mansion thing with all the hypnotized people blocking the entrance?" suggested Amarantha.
"Ha! That's got to be it!" said Maddie. "Anilokalmosia can hypnotize people with her flute, and those people look like people who have been hypnotized by her."
"Let's go then!" said Feathers. And the group walked towards the mansion. Feathers almost rang the doorbell, but then stopped herself. "How do we get inside?" asked Feathers. "Sorry, I'm no good at the whole 'busting into stranger's houses' thing. I am a phoenix who lives in a land that hasn't progressed since the medieval times. I think if I did bust into a house, people would try to capture me just to see if they can get good luck."
"Haven't you watched any movies? We bust in through the window!" said Priya.
"Um, what part of 'I live in a land that hasn't progressed since the Medieval Times' don't you understand?" asked Feathers.
"Oh...I, uh, forgot about that part," said Priya.
"Besides, aren't we supposed to be secretive? A window breaking is pretty loud," said Amarantha.
"But...I want a cool entrance!" whined Priya.
"Sorry, Priya, but we're going to have to sneak in," said Science Nerdess. Amarantha nudged the window pane with her horn. "Whoa, it's loose!" she exclaimed.
"SHHHH!" said everyone else.
"Oops...sorry," said Amarantha. "But, the window's loose. Should I open it?"
"Of course," said Feathers.
Amarantha wiggled the window with her horn, and Zella pulled it off. Everyone crawled into the window and walked into a living room with threadbare furniture and cobwebs everywhere. "Huh. Looks like no one's home..." said Amarantha.
"...Or has been for a long time," said Zella, anxiously. "Where is Annie?"
"A portal! Where's a portal? Or an elevator, at least?" asked Priya. "There's got to be a portal in this home to her lair." Everyone looked around, and as Science Nerdess turned, her unwieldy tail knocked into a bookcase, which slid open to reveal an elevator.
"That must be the elevator that leads to Annie's lair!" gasped Priya. Hannah giggled. "I wanna push the button!" she shrieked, and she...pushed the button, obviously, before anyone could stop her. (Not that anyone wanted to.) The elevator opened, and the group walked inside. The elevator was surprisingly roomy enough that the whole group could fit comfortably in their natural sizes. There were only two buttons: One that said "Ground Floor" and another that said "Lair." Amarantha pushed the button that said "Lair," and the elevator whooshed up.
"I think that cloud looks like...a dinosaur with a hammer," said a bored Anita.
"That cloud looks like a coffin!" said Scott.
"And that cloud looks like a car."
"Ooh, that cloud looks like another coffin!"
"And that cloud is a flying elephant."
"And that cloud is also a coffin!"
"...Scott. Those clouds don't look anything like coffins!"
"They do to me!"
Anita laughed. "Gosh, you see coffins everywhere, don't you?"
Scott shrugged. "Hey, I'm--er, was--a coffin maker. What more do you expect?"
"You've got a point," said Anita, as she turned to look out at the lake. Then, she saw a figure sail closer and closer until she could see that the figure was a rather chubby, dark-skinned, curly-haired girl who was fishing.

(Ack, she actually looks like another, curlier and longer haired version of Anita with square-ish glasses! Ugh...I'm not good at varying facial structures, especially on Paint.)
"So, why are you fishing then?" asked Anita. The girl turned and looked surprised. "Oh! I didn't notice you there," she said. "I'm fishing because it seemed like fun, and my dad forced me, too. Of course, he didn't come with me...and now I'm stuck doing this stupid sport that's so primitive! Why fish when you can get perfectly good fish at the market?!" She suddenly interrupted herself. "Ack, where are my manners? Lost with my patience, I bet. Heh. Anyway, my name's Jessica. What's yours?"
Scott said, "I'm Scott! The coffin maker!"
"Ex-coffin maker," reminded Anita.
"Don't be ludicrous, dear Anita!" said Scott. "I'm still a coffin maker in spirit!"
"You're a coffin maker? Cool!" said Jessica. "How about you?" she asked Anita. Anita stared at her, suspiciously. "Is your name really Jessica?"
"Well, you have the CMN of a good goddess, and people with CMNs of good goddesses aren't usually so snarky about their parents...and people like that. And they don't complain. They're practically angels."
"Damn...you're good!" said Jessica. 
"Heh, thanks," said Anita. "So, what's your name, really?"
"I never said I was lying about my name," said Jessica. Anita and Scott looked at Jessica, perplexed. Jessica leaned forward and whispered, "I'm the Goddess of Wisdom. Don't believe me? Here's my business card."
"Why in heck do gods have business cards?" asked Scott.
Jessica shrugged. "It comes with the job. Oh, and it's legit, too. Just ask it a question and it will say the answer."
"Um, okay," said Anita. "What's my name?"
"Anita," said the card. "Derivative of the Chosen Mortal Name of--"
"Yes, yes, I know that!" said Anita. "I don't need to hear it!"
"Heh. The card does tend to give too much info a lot of the time," said Jessica.
"So you really are Jesiackazysofiarti!" said Scott.
"SHHH! Not so loud!" said Jessica. "I don't want other gods knowing I'm here."
"What, you can't interact with lowly ghosts who have sinned and Cursed people?" asked Scott.
"No, it's just that the gods have this stupid rule in their rulebook that says that gods can't interact with mortals for casual conversation," said Jessica. "It's really stupid. Sometimes, I want to escape my godly responsibilities and just act like a mortal!"
"Wait...gods have rules?" asked Scott.
"Yup," sighed Jessica. "I didn't make 'em. They were made eons before I was born! And I'm pretty old."
"Do gods get...punished?" asked Anita.
"Naw, just shunned for a bit, excluded from Godly Meetings, stuff like that," said Jessica. "Though I suppose it wouldn't make much of a difference if I was excluded from the meetings...no one listens to me, anyhow."
"But you're the Goddess of Wisdom!" said Anita. "Why wouldn't they listen to you?"
"They're a lot of old farts, the lot of them," shrugged Jessica. "I'm too young, apparently--why are you guys looking at me as if I've said something blasphemous?"
"It's weird that you talk about your...colleagues?...that way," said Scott.
"Meh. This mortal incarnation is so different from my godly form that no one would pay attention to me talking, anyhow," shrugged Jessica. "That's why I'm using this incarnation, by the way." She sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm just bitter. I suggested for the ten millionth time for the gods to trash the whole Blessed-Cursed reward-punishment system--because, seriously, parents who are good only have their children rewarded and bad parents only have their children punished through the system--but they're all like, 'It's tradition! We can't get rid of it! You're young, Jessica. You don't understand.' But I'm, like, fifteen million years old--no, that's not an exaggeration--and I think I know unfairness when I see it!"
"I, for one, completely agree with you," said Anita. "Wow, I thought no gods thought to get rid of the system! My faith in you guys is restored!"
"But...they're good gods! They're supposed to be good and fair!" said Scott.
"Oh, they try their hardest," said Jessica. "But they aren't perfect. They screw up. And they're real pigheaded. I swear, sometimes it seems like the only difference between them and the bad gods is that bad gods treat each other and mortals way worse!" She cleared her throat. "But that's enough about me. What about you guys?"
"Oh, nothing but the usual," sighed Anita. 
"Science Nerdess, Feathers, Amarantha, Zella, and the others decided not to trust her after they found out that Priya was right about suspecting Annie. They figured she was right about Anita, too," said Scott.
"Ack, why are we gods only allowed to help people by giving cryptic hints?!" sighed Jessica. 
"Oh, speaking of cryptic hints, what did you mean when you said we'd get help from an unexpected place?" asked Scott.
"Oh! Well, that's easy enough to explain. I meant--" Jessica was interrupted by a rustle in the bushes. A brown haired woman darted away. Jessica became uneasy. She whispered, "Um...I can't say. Ya know, rulebook and all. I'm already risking a lot just by talking to you guys. I think that girl that just rushed out was a certain goddess...Hopefully, she and the rest of the gods will be none the wiser."
"Who made those rules, anyway?" asked Anita.
"I wonder what the others are up to..." thought Scott, aloud.
"I have a feeling they'll be just fine," said Jessica. Then she added, ominously, "For now."
The elevator halted. "We're...here?" asked Amarantha. "That was fast."
Priya shuddered. "I'm not looking forward to seeing her lair," she said. "I've heard it's absolutely creepy!"
"Well, Annie is evil," said Science Nerdess.
"What the...it's not ugly at all!" gasped Maddie, seeing the lair after the elevator doors opened. "It's...it's beautiful!" Everyone turned and gaped at the soft, pink cloud floor and the rainbow sky and the chocolate water fountains and the pretty pink bunnies that leapt about. "A-are we in the right place?" asked Feathers.
"It's possible that the button labeled 'Lair' lead us to the wrong lair..." suggested Science. "This place looks too much like...like heaven!" 
"I wouldn't put that past a goddess of deception..." Zella started, but then interrupted herself. "Goddess of Deception! Of course!"
"What are you talking about, Zella?" asked Feathers.
"Oh! I think I know!" said Ellie. "Annie is the Goddess of Deception...so maybe the heavenly look of her lair is a deception?"
"Exactly!" said Zella. 
"Do you know any spells that dispel illusions, Zella?" asked Priya.
"Do I?" said Zella. "I know plenty!" She then took out her wand and chanted, "Let what is false be gone and let what is true be revealed, while letting no acid rain fall and no apples be peeled!"
"'Let...no apples be peeled'? The hell?" said Amarantha.
"It's not the strangest spell in existence, believe it or not," said Zella.
"Now that's what I thought Annie's lair would look like!" said Feathers.
"Oh, no! The bunnies awe aww big, mean monstews!" cried Hannah.
"Ew! A river of blood!" said Maddie.
Suddenly, the group heard an angry, booming voice. "FOOLS! What do you think you're doing in my lair?"
Everyone looked up to see Anilokalmosia sauntering up towards them. She snapped her fingers and the flames died down, and then she beckoned her rabbit-monster...thing over while she sat down away from the blood river.
"S-so what if we are?" stuttered Amarantha.
"All I'm saying is that it's totally fruitless," said Annie. "You have all the right intentions, I'm sure, but it'll never work. Just...trust...me..." Her voice became slower and sweeter, and the group found themselves relaxing. "You should--all go--back--since--it's--useless--try-ing to--res-cue--"
"WAIT! SHE'S TRYING TO HYPNOTIZE US!" yelled Priya, snapping everyone out of their daze.
"Holy smokes, batman! You're right!" gasped Feathers. 
"Who's Batman?" asked Amarantha.
"I...don't know, I just heard the phrase 'Holy smokes, Batman' used before, so I decided to use it," said Feathers.
"You guys don't know who Batman is?" gasped Priya. "How do you not know--"
"SILENCE!" boomed Annie. "Why you're all talking about a fictional man who goes around at night dressed as a bat is beyond me. BUT ANYWAY. Yes, I was trying to hypnotize you...damn your theology classes. If only we didn't have mandatory schooling...then I can rule the world! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Heyyy...the deal was that we would rule the world together!" said a voice.
Everyone turned to see a scowling muscular woman in blood-spattered armor with arrows and guns.
"Of course we'll rule the world together, Jen...that's what I meant!" said Annie.
"Oh? Then why did you say I rather than we?" asked the very angry Jennifer.
"Slip of the tongue," said Annie. "I apologize. But we won't get to rule anything if these insolent mortals get the key to Scadoosh's cave!"
"Pfft. Why didn't you ask for me before? I'll show these little twerps who's boss around here." Jennifer cracked her knuckles, a vile, atrocious sound to Science's dragon ears. "ZOMBIE SLAVES! GATHER AROUND!"
"Why didn't I think of calling my slaves?" muttered Annie, as zombies surrounded our unfortunate heroes.
"But we're immortal!" said Amarantha. "You can't kill us!"
"Maybe I can't," said Jennifer. "But I can hurt you. ZOMBIE SLAVES! TRY TO KILL THEM!"
"Braiiiins..." said the zombie slaves.

Goodness, at this rate, I'll be finished with college and not have this WIS finished! (I hope that's not the case...college and graduate school are a loooong eight years.) Anyway, I figured you all would want to see the progress of this WIS, so here it is!
Another note: I'm probably not going to be blogging again until December or January. It's not that I don't love you all, it's that I'm going through the arduous process of COLLEGE APPS and I will not have time at ALL. I've heard that the first semester of senior year is hell (even more so than junior year!) so there's no way I'm going to be able to blog! :(
See you in December! :)

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

One More Year and I'm an Adult!

Once again, I'm really, really, sorry
Eh, screw it. You guys know I'm sorry, right? This seems to be some kind of ritual for me as of late, saying sorry.
Anyway, last Thursday, August 11, was my birthday! :)
It's weird that my birthday is during Ramadan. Usually, you never want your birthday to end, and I felt that way during my birthday, too, but, since I was fasting, I also couldn't wait for the sun to set and the day to be over so that I could EAT! (I was also looking forward to my Souplantation birthday dinner!) And you all know how I love eating.
The day before, I got a new haircut! :)


I like the layers very much. :)
My sister couldn't stop touching my hair after coming back from the salon.
(BTW, my sister is NOT that short. I drew her shorter than I intended to draw her, and I aimed to draw her shorter than she is, anyway. She's almost as tall as me!)
We moved, too, late in June. There are three really nice Bangladeshi girls who live across the street from us. None of them are my age, though. They're eleven, ten and eight, respectively. The ten-year-old has a twin brother. They used to bike and play catch with us everyday, but then, they discovered that we had a lot of movies and access to Netflix. So they started watching movies instead of actively playing, which kind of made their mom mad. I think she thinks my sister and I are bad influences.
That's kind of a shock for me, since, and I know I sound bratty saying this, I'm usually seen as sweet, demure, and a overall good girl.
I'm NOT a bad influence! I've never BEEN a bad influence!
...Now that I think about it, I am a bad influence--just in a different way. I'm a good influence because I'm a nice and smart girl. I'm a bad influence because I'm a lazybutt.
I bet the mother thinks that we don't believe in the religion of Islam; we believe in the religion of Lazybuttitude and we're trying to convert her daughters!
Well, I am a lazybutt. I won't deny that. I hate sports and physical activity. I would much rather curl up with a good book (or surf teh interwebz) than break out into a sweat running around. I swear, I will never understand athletes. Exercise isn't fun! It's torture! And yes, I am still of the belief that treadmills should be used to get information out of prisoners.

God, I hate treadmills. I destroyed the Treadmill of Doom with my DinoBots (TM), but  I didn't count on the fact that its progeny exists...
Anyway, the Souplantation dinner on my birthday was awesome! Souplantation food is yummilicious! :)
We bought cake after Souplantation to cut after Iftar (meal to break the fast) the next day, since we were too full to eat it then. And the cake was delicious! 
I'm going to have a birthday party with my friends next month, when fasting is over.
In other news, I took a blood test on the first week of August, when I was exempt from Ramadan fasting because of that...womanly time of the month. It was a fasting blood test, so it was a good thing I didn't have to fast for Ramadan since I wouldn't have been able to eat my pre-fasting meal (Suhoor is the term, if you wanted to know) since I can't eat after 12 hours before the test, and I had the test at 9:00 AM, and Suhoor was at 4:30AM. Apparently, I'm still anemic and I'm low in Vitamin D. I blame my melanin for the Vitamin D deficiency. Please ignore the fact that I go outside very rarely...I wish to keep my ignorance! Though darker skinned people do have a harder time getting Vitamin D if they live above 36 degrees North or below 36 degrees South. And I live near LA, so I count!
I just realized I can watch R rated movies now! Not that I never have (I watched Outbreak in ninth grade since my biology teacher got our parent's permission by putting it on the syllabus sheet that they have to sign and it was said that if any parent had a problem with that movie, to write a note to the teacher, but no one did.) but now I don't need permission to!

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

My Blog is Carbon-Neutral! WOOHOO!

I love how easy it can be to help so many people nowadays.

Take, for instance, blood drives. One pint can save three lives! (At least, I think that's the number...) By sacrificing some of your blood, you can save lives! Though it may be kind of strange to think about how your blood might be circulating through someone else's veins...

We had a blood drive today at school. I finally mustered the courage to donate blood, no matter how painful the process might be and no matter how many times the nurse might miss my vein. (Ouch.)
When I signed up yesterday, I chose to donate my blood during fifth period, during Spanish. Spanish is the easiest class I have, so I didn't have to worry about missing anything super-important. I got a slip during Spanish excusing me to go to the gym, where the blood drive was taking place. Three other students and I went over there together. I saw my friend at the gym and went over to her after showing my photo ID and getting the pre-donation reading materials. I read through everything and gave the reading materials back and I got a number: 47. My friend was number 40. When I read through the reading materials, I learned that gay men cannot donate blood. Or, more specifically, gay men who have had sex with other men. It seriously said that in the the materials! "You cannot donate blood if...you are a male who has had sexual intercourse with another male as of after 1977..." (It's a sort of paraphrase, but it's really close to what the book said.)

We waited some more. I saw people on cots getting blood drawn from them, and I started getting nervous again. I can do this. I kept repeating this thought to myself over and over. My friend and I talked to eliminate some of the nervousness. My friend then decided to go and get her stuff from math class since she figured that we would have to wait here until after fifth period, at lunch. She then returned, and after a few minutes, her number was called, and she went into one of the confidential interview stalls. I was left alone with my thoughts.

After what seemed like an eternity, a nurse came to the bleachers where I was sitting and called out, "42?" Pause. "43?" Pause. "44?" Pause. "45?" Pause. "46?" Pause. "47?" She looked at my paper with the number on it. "Oh, that's you. Come on over." And we went into another stall.

The nurse asked for my student ID and information such as my name and my DOB. Then, she took out a bandage, a cleaning sponge, and a strange tube-like thing. She told me to show her my right middle finger so that she could take a sample of my blood. While I lay my hand on the table, I looked for the syringe, but never found it. The nurse wiped the sponge on my finger and then put the tube-like thing on my finger and pressed a button. My finger then started to bleed, and she collected a few drops in a flat, glass case which she stuck into a boxy, metal object and plugged into a machine. She then asked me more questions. Finally, she looked at the results of my blood test on the computer.

Obviously, I agreed, and so another nurse came to test me.

The result was the same. I had too little iron in my blood to donate. I was devastated.
Ha! I caught you guys really off-guard there, didn't I? You were expecting a story about how I donated blood like a BOSS and was super-proud of it afterwards even if it hurt a little, but instead, you get a story about how I got REJECTED from donating my iron-deficient blood! Ha...heh...heh....

Well, now I know that I shouldn't bother donating blood when I have my period. I guess that should be common sense, but...I lack common sense! Come on, older readers, you know this!

I still got cookies and snacks and juice, so I was sort of happy. Ish.

Anyway, the MAIN reason I wrote this post was to talk about how my blog was carbon-neutral, but instead I got sidetracked. I always get sidetracked. Thanks to Gabi's wonderful blog, I found out about an initiative by an organization called the Arbor Day Foundation. This foundation will plant a tree for every blog that puts the cool button that's on my sidebar with a leaf in it on itself (preferably on the sidebar). For more information, click the awesome button! :)

Amazing how I managed to write only one paragraph on the topic I intended this post to be about...

I use ellipses too much.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Procrastinating Me + MemeGenerator = GOD SAVE US ALL

WARNING: You are about to witness some of the lamest memes ever generated through MemeGenerator. If the lameness causes your brain to melt out of your ears, then I'm sorry, but you were warned.

I wanted to procrastinate on math homework and English homework today, so I used memegenerator.net to kill some time. First, I used a picture from one of my previous posts.

Then, I decided to look for characters from Recess, since I'm currently addicted to that show anyway, on Google Images and use those images to make other memes. I started with Spinelli.
(A note: From this point on, all of my memes are hipster memes. That's because I couldn't think of anything better. I apologize.)

Then, I used an image of Mikey to make not one, but TWO memes! 

Then, I made one for Gretchen.
(She actually doesn't have a masters in plate tectonics, but she knows enough about it to earn a masters, so...same difference.)

I then moved on to minor characters, such as Corn Chip Girl...

...and the Guru Kid.

Of course, Recess wasn't enough for me, so I used images of characters from Codename: Kids Next Door. I started with Numbuh 3.

Then, I had to do something relating to Numbuh 1's baldness, so...
Ha. Hahaha. I'm really quite the comedy queen, aren't I.
Well, now it's getting pretty late, so I'd better get to working on that math homework... (oh why oh why didn't I do it earlier...)

Monday, May 16, 2011

A Random Survey

So, the wonderful Gabi tagged me to take this survey. I might just as well do it, so here goes:

The name is Sana.  

Is your name on Blogger your name in real life? If not, what letter does your real name start with?
Nope. Well, it's not my full name. I do have a last name. And NO, I'm not telling you what it is. It's not that I don't trust you; it's just that...I don't trust you. Sorry.

Astrological sign?
I'm a LEO! And Leos are fantastically awesome! And they're also supposed to be, just as lions are the kings of the jungle (which is odd since I didn't think lions lived in the jungle), kings of mankind. I'm kind of failing at that right now. I guess I'm more of a lionskin doormat. 

Actually, the lionskin doormat representing me probably shouldn't have a mane, since I am a girl even though my upper-lip hair may trick you into believing otherwise. Oh well. 
But you never know...the doormat act may just be a facade. BECAUSE SOON, YOU WILL ALL BOW TO ME! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

If there was a huge 'Blogspot Get-Together' where all bloggers were meant to come together and meet in real-life, would you go?

Depends on who's there.

Have you ever rejected someone?
Nope. No one's ever asked me out, so there never was anyone to reject.

If so, was it harshly?
Not applicable to my situation.

Did they cry?

Have you ever tried a cigarette?

Besides, my religion doesn't allow it.

Have you ever been high? If so, on what?
Nope. Not even on sugar.

What are six things you find attractive when in the opposite gender?
Ek: Intelligence. I like smart guys. They make for interesting conversation.
Do: Maturity. But not too much that he can't enjoy childish things, like TV shows meant for the under-12 set. *cough*RecessKNDArthurCyberchaseandothers*cough*
Teen: Kindness. 
Char: A love for books. People who don't like books suck. End of story.
Panch: Sweetness. 
Che: Okay, fine, I'll be shallow...good looks.

What are five things you find extremely unattractive in the opposite gender?

Uno: Idiocy. I don't like stupid people.
Dos: Falseness. I don't like people who don't feel comfortable acting like themselves.
Tres: Immaturity. Immature guys are annoying.
Cuatro: Unkindness.
Cinco: Shallowness.

Answer only if you have a sibling: If your sibling wasn't your sibling, do you think you'd ever find him/her attractive and go out with him/her?
First of all, I'm straight. My sister's a girl, and I'm a girl. Second of all, she's five years younger than me. I'm not interested in dating an eleven-year-old. That's just plain disgusting. Thirdly, this question is disgusting.

Would you ever eat a caterpillar?
Depends. If I get to eat it covered in chocolate or ice cream, then sure! I've always wanted to try chocolate-covered bugs. 

If I have to eat it raw, then EW. 

If yes, why?

If no, why?

Would you rather kiss a random stranger on the street of the opposite gender or tickle a random stranger on the street of the opposite gender?

What is this I don't even...

Would you rather throw up on stage or fart on stage?
Seeing as my farts are quiet but really stinky, I'd prefer to fart on stage. That way, I can blame it on someone else.

Would you ever sneak out of the house at night?
Nope. I wouldn't know where to sneak to.

Do you think this survey was weird?
Just kidding. But the answer is YES.

Did you find it enjoyable?
I suppose...weird is sometimes fun. I guess.

Which five bloggers will you be tagging to take this survey as well?
Hmmm, let's see....
Have fun with the survey! 

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Let's Play a Game! It's Called "Guess What Changed?"

I am so pro at procrastinating. I really should be studying really hard for a math test on existence theorems that I have tomorrow, but instead, here I am playing around with the background settings on my blog. Amazing thing procrastination is, eh?

So, yeah. I changed the background, as you can probably see. It's not exactly a subtle change, you know...

What do you guys think? Do you love it? Or is it horrendous?
But seriously, you do have a choice. Seriously.

Okay, look, who are you going to believe, me or a silly little picture of me?!

This post is so short. Hmm. Oh! A good way to waste time is to watch Recess episodes. I loved that show, and I still do, and I like it even more now that I can catch all the little allusions. The episode "Schoolworld," for instance, was a complete parody of 2001: A Space Odyssey. The title of "I Will Kick No More Forever" is an obvious reference to Chief Joseph of the Nez Perce's famous line, "I will fight no more forever."

In other news, I finally have 20 followers (including myself)! YAY!

And I really should be getting back to studying math. Thus ends the shortest (or one of the shortest) posts I've ever written.

Edit: I just realized that I'm probably not following myself. If I was, why would I still have that "Follow" button on my blog when I view it signed in as me? So, I have two invisible followers. This is mysterious and AWESOME.