The Past and the Present

Hello, my faithful followers!
So, winter break ended a long time ago. And now, I am in the second half of my junior year. Sigh. Oh, time, how you move so quickly! After mourning winter break's quick demise and short life, I started thinking about how I felt about winter break before, back in the joyous days of elementary school. I would never willingly go back to my elementary school days, for I like my freedoms and middle/high school friends far too much, but the light workload is quite enticing.
I was a queer child in my elementary school days. I preferred to stay by myself during recess time, hated handball and other sports, and I liked school. I really did! Back in my elementary school days, I never liked winter break (unless we were going on vacations to see relatives. Then, it was okay.) and couldn't wait for it to end.
But now? Now I relish holidays. I'm always so exhausted by the time my seven- (sometimes eight-)hour day is over and usually I just can't wait until the week is over...Well, at least that used to be the case. Nowadays, I've started dreading the end of the week. I think that's because I'm subconsciously worried that there is some deadline I have to meet or some assignment that I have to do because that's been the case recently.

Internship applications are so much FUN! Not.

I also think I had a better work ethic back in elementary school, which is not good. INTERNET, I BLAME THEE.

But really, other than that, nothing much has changed...or has it?

I did start thinking about how I'd changed from elementary school after winter break and I was going to blog about it, too, but well, stuff came in the way. Such as school. School is taking over my life. No, wait--it already has taken over my life. Not that I had much of a life to speak of...

But what really got me to thinking about how I had changed since seventh grade were the student council election speeches. Many people talked about seventh grade and how we all had grown as a class and changed from the timid little scrubs we were back then. Then I started wondering, Have I really changed? Has everyone in my class really changed? Sure, there is the once-timid seventh grader who became one of the leading members of student council, and there is the once-shy girl who has turned into a social butterfly...but then there's the rest of us.

I haven't changed. At least, not very much. I came into my middle/high school a shy, awkward seventh grader, and, at the rate I'm going, I'm coming out as a still shy, still awkward graduate. And, as an added bonus, maybe I'll have even less self-confidence! As a seventh grader, I believed myself to be awesome at math. Well, I got rid of that misconception fairly quickly. 

Recently, I flipped through my fifth grade ABC, All About Me book, and looked at the U page about what made me unique. I mentioned that my favorite subjects, which I found that not many people in my school liked, made me unique. Of course I wrote about science (my love for it has not changed), but I also wrote about...*shudder* MATH.

What I find really hilarious about the whole thing is that now I go to a school where the majority of people are good (read: amazing, genius-status) at math and science...and some of them are far better than I could ever hope to be! So now I know that my love of math and science did not make me unique at all...if anything, it made me more un-unique.

I am kind of starting to like math again...but I think it's too soon to tell if I like calculus, seeing as I've only had one test on it.

I'm definitely smarter than I was in elementary school...it would be pretty depressing if I weren't! Back in elementary school, in fifth grade, we did "About Me" posters, and one of the sections on the poster was "If I could have one wish, what would it be?" Now, most fifth graders would put that game they've always wanted or other selfish desires, and the more altruistic ones wrote wishes such as "World Peace." But not I!

 IF I COULD HAVE ONE WISH, IT WOULD BE...

I wish I had some common sense. :(

An odd wish, is it not? It didn't come out of nowhere, though. I'd always heard that I didn't have any common sense, and having common sense is super important, so, the most logical thing would be to wish for common sense, right? What else was poor fifth grade me supposed to think?

But, as I glance upon my selection for my wish with a more learned eye, I know that I was quite inaccurate in my judgement of what indeed is a great wish to wish if I had just one chance to wish it. How silly of me to wish for some common sense! My mom had laughed when she saw this foolish wish on my poster during Open House night, saying that of course I had common sense! So, I definitely should not have wasted my wish on that. I now know that I should have wished for more common sense, or at least the ability to use said common sense.

Also, when I was younger, I always thought I could laugh at jokes or at people being funny, but actually being funny? No way! Not me! I actually did continue thinking that until...I guess until I started this blog! Thank to the great support of all of you, my wonderful followers, and my own evaluations of my past posts, I realized that I, indeed, could be funny (even if it was in a lame and stupid, as opposed to clever and witty, manner).

My ability to use Paint has also improved with time. But I've always loved Paint, even when I was in fourth grade. In fourth grade, for my report about my "hidden talent," I talked about how pro I was with Paint.

I guess it's okay that I haven't changed all that much. I'm still a totally awesome person with a few flaws, but hey, no one's perfect, right? And who knows what changes the next years will bring? Maybe they'll correct some of my more worrisome flaws...